New Features: The Movie Log & CF Essentials

It has been unsustainable for me to continue to write the articles the way I was writing them. Many hours of watching, writing, and collecting information and screenshots for a single movie. The goal of the Movie Log will be to create more content in line with how I actually watch movies and log them on Letterboxd. I hope you will find the variety and randomness of what I typically watch in a week entertaining; maybe it will send you down your own viewing rabbit hole.

I also know that some of my readers are looking for solid recommendations on what to watch, and I'm not always providing that. The Movie Log for any given week may only have movies I rate poorly and wouldn't recommend. So, I am also starting a numbered list of essential movies; my favorite movies that I love to recommend. It's a little indulgent to start a numbered list (as my friend Luis would say: the Chris-terion Collection) but I think now more than ever - without certain conveniences like video stores - we need curation that is not algorithm-based. I get most of my movie recommendations from "curators" that I trust, and I think it's one of my strengths as a moviegoer and writer to find the treasure out there for your enjoyment.

I will shortly have a place on the website where you can find a complete list. The numbering, of course, will have little meaning except to inspire me to obtain milestones.

But for now, here is a genuine look at what I watch in a given week:

Class

1983, USA, d. Lewis John Carlino, 1h38m, ***
File Under: Brat Pack, Boarding Schools

At a private boarding school, Rob Lowe pushes his brainy, awkward new roommate (Andrew McCarthy) to lose his virginity. Which doesn't happen until he's alone in a bar in Chicago and a manic pixie dream MILF (Jacqueline Bisset, who is much too good for this shit) takes pity on him, not realizing the bartender was serving him Shirley Temples. Let's just say that what ensues comes squarely from icky male fantasies and has not aged well. But there is a twist that makes this immensely watchable, like a trainwreck episode of Maury.

This film could be considered the first "brat pack" movie. Yes, The Outsiders came out first, but Coppola had to put *everybody* of this age in that movie, so it feels incidental that a couple of them appeared in it. Class features McCarthy (1st screen credit), Rob Lowe (2nd), John Cusack (1st), and Alan Ruck (2nd) who is "brat pack" adjacent. It's also the first screen credit of Virginia Madsen.

Rob Lowe is the weak link among the actors, at least at this stage in his career, but he looks great in women's underwear.

Fortress

1985, Australia, d. Arch Nicholson, 1h28m, ***1/2
File Under: Ozploitation

The draw for this one is a script by Everett de Roche, who wrote many of the best Australian exploitation classics like Roadgames, Long Weekend, and Patrick. This one doesn't disappoint. Based very loosely on a real incident, four men in animal masks kidnap an entire class of schoolchildren and their teacher in rural Australia. They are taken in a van and hidden in a cave to wait while ransom demands are met.

The dynamics between the teacher and her children are well-written, and after several failed attempts to escape they decide to fight back in desperation. Low budget, a little shocking, but full of suspense. The epilogue is fantastic.

Quick Change

1990, USA, d. Howard Franklin & Bill Murray, 1h29m, **
File Under: Lost in NYC

Bill Murray, disguised as a clown, is robbing a bank in New York City and holding hostages. This sounds like a great premise, doesn't it? Geena Davis is in it, and Randy Quaid plays the kind of person you would least like to be held hostage with. Jason Robards is the police chief on the case, and there are memorable scenes with Phil Hartman, Stanley Tucci, and Tony Shalhoub.

Unfortunately, this movie is amazingly unfunny. The heist is a little clever, but predictable; the rest of the movie involves a meandering escape through New York that is filled with contempt for the city. Which, however justified, is not a good premise to build a comedy on. I'm sorry, I'm just not interested in cheap shots at union labor or cab drivers who don't speak English.

Turtles Are Surprisingly Fast Swimmers

2005, Japan, d. Satoshi Miki, 1h30m, ***1/2
File Under: Gentle Japanese Comedies

There is a whole sub-genre of Japanese comedy that is zany but wholesome, and I love it. I'm going to have to do an article on it someday. In this movie, Suzume is a bored housewife whose husband is working abroad. She dutifully takes care of her husband's pet turtle but has little else going on. One day, she sees a tiny poster. Wanted: Spies! She calls the number. The spy tells her only a good spy could have found such a tiny poster. Plus, she is totally ordinary, no one would ever suspect she is a spy.

She is hired and given tons of money. What's the mission? There aren't any missions right now, except to make sure no one suspects she's secretly a spy. Suzume finds out that now that she is a spy, her life is super exciting, and she no longer knows how to act like a normal, boring person.

This one is completely unavailable in the U.S. (a friend had a copy with fan-made subtitles), so it's time to induct my first recommendation:

Swing Girls

2004, Japan, d. Shinobu Yaguchi, 1h45m, ****
File Under: Gentle Japanese Comedies

After the entire high school brass band is laid low by food poisoning, a group of lazy schoolgirls (and a boy) decide to join band so they can get out of class. (It doesn't have to make sense, just roll with it.) They wind up falling in love with big band jazz and finally have something they're passionate about, but they will need to show some perseverance to make it last.

Incidentally inspired by a real-life high school jazz band in Japan, and perhaps taking a few cues from School of Rock (2003), Swing Girls is still completely original and so creative. A scene involving the girls stumbling upon a feral boar in the woods leads to an unexpected visual gag that had me rolling.